Unsolicited Advice from this Dad

We have been fortunate to hear that several friends of ours are expecting little ones soon so I've decided to take this opportunity to provide some unsolicited advice to them about parenting (since everybody loves getting advice they didn't ask for!)

1. Learn to accept and then ignore unsolicited advice from people about parenting (not this blog post of course, I expect to see many thankful messages in the comments section!)
2. Before your baby is born, read a bit about parenting.  We spent all the time planning for the birth and not the 18 years that follow.
3. Take advantage of the nurses at the hospital, ask them questions.  I didn't know how to change a diaper or swaddle but I learned at the hospital.  It was very useful at 3am on Josh's first night to go into the hallway, find a nurse and confirm the sound he was making was normal.
4. Parenting is HARD.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying! Anyone who says it is easy and tells you that you are doing it wrong is lying!
5. Survive the first few months.  The first few months (1-3) are an adjustment period not just for you but for your baby as well.  Just try to get through the sleepless nights without going insane.  Soon enough your baby will start smiling at you and that will make it far more difficult to be mad at them.
6. Breastfeeding is HARD but worth it, stick with it if you can but if you don't do it then it doesn't mean you are a bad parent.  
7. Do the best you can.  You can't do everything or be there for everything and you will make mistakes.  Nobody is perfect and there is no perfect parenting.
8. When they say you have to feed the baby every two hours, what they don't say is that is two hours from when you started feeding them.  So in the early few weeks when it takes 30-60 minutes to feed them, enjoy that hour break before doing it all again.
9. Once you have a baby, you have to schedule when you shower (please do still shower for the sake of everyone else).
10. Get used to talking about poop.  Soon your conversations will discuss size, color, odor, consistency, frequency - it's a wonderful topic!
11. You will get peed on - I'm told this happens with girls too.  Babies like to lull you into a sense of security and then bam, they hit you when you least expect it!
12. Find a good pediatrician you like that is not too far away.  You will likely be making several visits there (stupid hives, ear infections, strep throat, checkups...).  Being able to call the pediatrician after hours is also useful since everything bad happens at night.
13. You can interview pediatricians before your baby is born.  We were not on our game to do this since you have to schedule it a few months out but it can be useful if you are trying to find a good one.
14. You are in charge.  While it doesn't feel that way when you seem to have no control, you are actually the one in charge, not the baby.  Don't let your baby decide everything for you.
15. Keep trying different things to calm/entertain your baby.  Something that didn't work last week might work now (the reverse is also true, just because it worked today doesn't mean it will work tomorrow).  Josh can be very difficult but then a few minutes later he might change his mind and do what you want.
16. Be consistent, creating a routine for you and your baby will make life easier.  We didn't get a real routine down until we had to get Josh to daycare at a consistent time.  This helped get him on a consistent napping, eating and sleeping schedule.
17. Put the baby to bed early!  We started putting Josh to bed at 8pm when he was about 5 months old and it meant we got to have time for ourselves again.  If you want more details of how we sleep trained Josh let me know.
18. Sleep begets sleep, the more your baby naps the more they will sleep at night (according to our experience and the pediatrician anyway).  Josh seems to always wake up at around the same time even if he goes to bed later or earlier (so we prefer earlier!)
19. Childcare is expensive.
20. Allow other people to care for your baby.  Babies learn how to take advantage of their parents and they might respond better to others.  It is very useful for other people to be able to take care of and get your baby to sleep for you.
21. Take time for yourself.  It is ok to want some alone time.  You will suddenly really want to be the one to go to the store just to have some time out of the house.
22. Don't worry, you will forget most of the sleepless nights and yelling once your baby starts doing more interesting things.  Hey, that's why parents have more than one kid.  If you remembered the first month nobody would do it again.
23. Babies are cute for a reason - so you can't be mad at them after they've taken all the tissues out of a tissue box or unrolled a roll of toilet paper!
24. Don't nap in the daytime if you can help it.  Lot's of places recommend sleeping when the baby sleeps but to me this just means you get your schedule all screwed up and are less likely to really want to sleep at night.  
25. When people offer to help, take them up on it (we were not so good at this).  It might be best for them to watch the baby while you do something
26. As soon as you feel up to it, go out of the house with the baby.  Babies are not difficult at restaurants until they start moving around so take advantage.
27. Traveling with a baby is easier than a toddler...
28. Googling problems can be useful but don't go too crazy, don't rely only on Dr. Google.  Google can provide lots of answers, and then lots more questions!
29. Enjoy watching your baby experience and learn the world.  I won't forget the time Josh first experienced wind - he tried to eat it.
30. Take pictures!  We look back at pictures of Josh when he was a few months old and we realize we forgot what he was like at that time even though it wasn't that long ago.
31. Take videos! We didn't take many videos of Josh the first few months because he didn't really do much but looking back we wish we had.
32. It is ok to be obsessed with your baby, just don't impose it on everyone else all the time.

And one more:

1. It's totally worth it :-) 

Fun time at the pool

Just doing some reading

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