Josh officially became a toddler when he turned one, but the behavioral aspects of being a toddler are continuing to emerge. He is full of energy and always on the go. His curiosity and understanding of the world are growing rapidly and has been very cute to watch. He is learning what objects do, and can understand many more commands. His vocabulary has remained steady the past few weeks, but his overall understanding and communication has really increased. He can say (and sign) "all done" and uses that not only for food, but for when he is bored and done with something (like riding on the swings, or in the stroller). He can also say and sign "more/I want" and "no", which are good for letting us know what he wants (and doesn't want). He also points, or takes our hand to bring us to something that he wants.
On the less than cute side, the toddler tantrums are starting. Along with Josh's increased understanding and communication, he does not always gets what he wants even if he can communicate it to us. It is hard to say no to him, particularly because we want him to know we understand what he wants. He doesn't yet understand that he can't always have everything he wants. We generally try to distract Josh from whatever it was he wants but can't have, which works well sometimes. I read something online that said that growing up is the process of learning that you are not the center of the universe, so toddlers are cranky, because this is the first time in their life they can't have everything they want.
It has been so fun to watch Josh learn and explore the world, so we will put up with the tantrums :-)
We have been fortunate to hear that several friends of ours are expecting little ones soon so I've decided to take this opportunity to provide some unsolicited advice to them about parenting (since everybody loves getting advice they didn't ask for!)
Learn to accept and then ignore unsolicited advice from people about parenting (not this blog post of course, I expect to see many thankful messages in the comments section!)
Before your baby is born, read a bit about parenting. We spent all the time planning for the birth and not the 18 years that follow.
Take advantage of the nurses at the hospital, ask them questions. I didn't know how to change a diaper or swaddle but I learned at the hospital. It was very useful at 3am on Josh's first night to go into the hallway, find a nurse and confirm the sound he was making was normal.
Parenting is HARD. Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying! Anyone who says it is easy and tells you that you are doing it wrong is lying!
Survive the first few months. The first few months (1-3) are an adjustment period not just for you but for your baby as well. Just try to get through the sleepless nights without going insane. Soon enough your baby will start smiling at you and that will make it far more difficult to be mad at them.
Breastfeeding is HARD but worth it, stick with it if you can but if you don't do it then it doesn't mean you are a bad parent.
Do the best you can. You can't do everything or be there for everything and you will make mistakes. Nobody is perfect and there is no perfect parenting.
When they say you have to feed the baby every two hours, what they don't say is that is two hours from when you started feeding them. So in the early few weeks when it takes 30-60 minutes to feed them, enjoy that hour break before doing it all again.
Once you have a baby, you have to schedule when you shower (please do still shower for the sake of everyone else).
Get used to talking about poop. Soon your conversations will discuss size, color, odor, consistency, frequency - it's a wonderful topic!
You will get peed on - I'm told this happens with girls too. Babies like to lull you into a sense of security and then bam, they hit you when you least expect it!
Find a good pediatrician you like that is not too far away. You will likely be making several visits there (stupid hives, ear infections, strep throat, checkups...). Being able to call the pediatrician after hours is also useful since everything bad happens at night.
You can interview pediatricians before your baby is born. We were not on our game to do this since you have to schedule it a few months out but it can be useful if you are trying to find a good one.
You are in charge. While it doesn't feel that way when you seem to have no control, you are actually the one in charge, not the baby. Don't let your baby decide everything for you.
Keep trying different things to calm/entertain your baby. Something that didn't work last week might work now (the reverse is also true, just because it worked today doesn't mean it will work tomorrow). Josh can be very difficult but then a few minutes later he might change his mind and do what you want.
Be consistent, creating a routine for you and your baby will make life easier. We didn't get a real routine down until we had to get Josh to daycare at a consistent time. This helped get him on a consistent napping, eating and sleeping schedule.
Put the baby to bed early! We started putting Josh to bed at 8pm when he was about 5 months old and it meant we got to have time for ourselves again. If you want more details of how we sleep trained Josh let me know.
Sleep begets sleep, the more your baby naps the more they will sleep at night (according to our experience and the pediatrician anyway). Josh seems to always wake up at around the same time even if he goes to bed later or earlier (so we prefer earlier!)
Childcare is expensive.
Allow other people to care for your baby. Babies learn how to take advantage of their parents and they might respond better to others. It is very useful for other people to be able to take care of and get your baby to sleep for you.
Take time for yourself. It is ok to want some alone time. You will suddenly really want to be the one to go to the store just to have some time out of the house.
Don't worry, you will forget most of the sleepless nights and yelling once your baby starts doing more interesting things. Hey, that's why parents have more than one kid. If you remembered the first month nobody would do it again.
Babies are cute for a reason - so you can't be mad at them after they've taken all the tissues out of a tissue box or unrolled a roll of toilet paper!
Don't nap in the daytime if you can help it. Lot's of places recommend sleeping when the baby sleeps but to me this just means you get your schedule all screwed up and are less likely to really want to sleep at night.
When people offer to help, take them up on it (we were not so good at this). It might be best for them to watch the baby while you do something
As soon as you feel up to it, go out of the house with the baby. Babies are not difficult at restaurants until they start moving around so take advantage.
Traveling with a baby is easier than a toddler...
Googling problems can be useful but don't go too crazy, don't rely only on Dr. Google. Google can provide lots of answers, and then lots more questions!
Enjoy watching your baby experience and learn the world. I won't forget the time Josh first experienced wind - he tried to eat it.
Take pictures! We look back at pictures of Josh when he was a few months old and we realize we forgot what he was like at that time even though it wasn't that long ago.
Take videos! We didn't take many videos of Josh the first few months because he didn't really do much but looking back we wish we had.
It is ok to be obsessed with your baby, just don't impose it on everyone else all the time.
We haven't had too much going on this past week or so, so sorry for the blog slowness. Here are some cute pictures to tide you over until we have more content :-)
Ready for some gardening
Planting a tomato :-)
Being a good boy at graduation
Josh wanted to wear his shoes and his coat and eat raisin bran...
Since the day Josh was born, I had seen him every day of his life. Not always in the morning when he woke up, or in the evening when he went to bed, but everyday I had seen him. So when the idea of me going away for a business trip came up, I had a lot of mixed emotions and things to consider. Margaret had gone away for a few weekend trips for skating and I took care of Josh while she was gone. I knew how hard it was to be a "single" parent just for a weekend so I was very concerned about leaving Margaret home with Josh for almost two weeks.
We considered many options including Margaret and Josh coming on the trip but in the end we decided I would go alone. Margaret was extremely supportive the entire time and never made me feel bad about leaving her to deal with our little trouble maker. We talked to friends and family to help out while I was gone to ensure Margaret wouldn't have to do everything on her own. Margaret's biggest concern while I was gone was taking our cat Jeter to the vet (she goes weekly for fluids). Thankfully my dad was willing to take care of that chore.
Leaving was difficult for me, I was worried Josh would not remember who I was when I got back (I figured Margaret would probably still remember me). I don't think Josh really understood what was going on so that also made me feel bad. While I was gone Margaret sent me lots of pictures and videos of Josh and kept me up to date of what they were doing. We Skyped several times and Josh always seemed happy to see me. I sent Margaret a video message of me talking to Josh which she played for him. Going away was difficult but we were able to stay in enough contact so I never felt too far away.
When I got home Josh was already asleep. I was very excited to see how he would react to me being home. When he woke up in the morning I went to get him. He looked at me but didn't really react. I wasn't sure if he didn't know who I was or if he didn't realize I was gone for a while. In either case he didn't have any trouble spending time with me.
Josh did make a few advancements while I was gone. He no longer throws his food on the floor. When he would do it we would take away his food and he seems to have gotten the message. He also will push you in the direction he wants to you to go. He gives hugs now when asked (sometimes). I can tell he understands more and more. He's growing up so fast and I'm very glad to be home to see it all.
Special thanks to my parents, Ellie, Mark and Heather for helping out while I was gone. And of course I am thankful for Margaret for making the trip possible!
Today is the last day of my single parenting adventure. I certainly don't want to jinx anything, but so far Josh and I have been doing pretty well.
Julian's Dad helped out on Saturday taking Jeter to her weekly vet trip, and watching Josh so that I could go to yoga. On Sunday Josh and I were supposed to meet Julian's Mom and stepdad to go walking in Bethesda, but we overslept! I had set an alarm for 7:10, and when I woke up I could hear Josh, but decided to give him a few minutes to fully wake up....well 2 hrs later we were both still asleep!! Whoops. For those keeping count, that means Josh slept for 14hrs!! This was the latest he has ever slept, and I still had to wake him at 9:20. Fortunately we were able to meet Julian's mom and stepdad for brunch and then went jogging on the CCT--so it all worked out. I was worried that it would be difficult with a stroller on the CCT later in the day, but it really wasn't that crowded. I guess it should shock no one that I would be the one to teach Josh to oversleep :-)
We also went to a fundraiser/campaign kick off for my cousin. I must say that parties are really not as fun when it is just you and a toddler. I spent the whole time trying to keep Josh from destroying the house of the host...
Overall I'm pretty pleased at how the past 11 days have gone....although I'm very happy that Julian will be home soon! Thanks to everyone for helping out with Josh and keeping me company over this time!
Well as many of you know, Julian is away in Amman, Jordan for work. He is away for 12 days, which is 11 more days in a row than he has every been away before. In anticipation of him going away, we lined up some help from his parents and my sister and I set up some play dates with some friends.
My cousin Rita was in town over the weekend, so we got to play with her, her daughter and her father. Ellie and Mark came to visit with Rita and stay the night to help out. Unfortunately Josh decided he was freaked out by Dad not being around, and melted down every time I went out of his sight :-( Heather came over to play with us too, and we were able to distract Josh by letting him play in the office (we don't usually let him in there because it is a mess of not safe for toddler items) and I could take care of a few things.
On Monday and Tuesday, Julian's Mom came to help out so that I could go to swim class and run some errands. On Tuesday afternoon Ellie left work early and we all went out to the mall and Ellie cooked us dinner :-) Overall Monday and Tuesday went really smoothly, and I was very proud of myself for making it four days! A big thank you to everyone who has been helping out!
Sadly, it is always the unexpected that throws you off. When I got home from shopping with Ellie I noticed that my foot hurt in a small spot, I had Ellie take a look and she thought maybe it was a glass splinter. I broke a pyrex measuring cup on Easter, so I was concerned that I might have stepped on glass from that. She tried hard to get it out, but had no luck. I decided since Josh was in daycare on Weds, I should just get it taken care of--so that it didn't get worse by Thursday or the weekend when I had to care for Josh full time. I went to a podiatrist on Weds morning, and after a lot of effort (including a numbing shot and 2 doctors....) they pulled 3 bits of glass out of my foot. Unfortunately my foot still hurts because they had to cut pretty deeply in it, but at least the glass should be out so it should recover!
Sometime while I was at the doctor, monsoon season started. It has been raining for a day, but the rain really picked up and was coming down fast. My drive home on 355 was dodgy at best and I was driving through pretty high standing water in some points. I got home JUST in time to keep our back door from flooding (thankfully!). I was making myself some lunch, when I received a call from daycare saying that their power was off and that they would be closing. I had to race out to pick up Josh in the monsoon, and drive back through the standing water. It was tough watching Josh and keeping our house from flooding, but I am happy to report that there were no leaks and no injuries to Josh :-) Fortunately the numbing agent in my foot was still going strong for all of this, so at least my foot didn't hurt!
It really is true what they say, April showers bring May flowers...because May 1st was a beautiful day. Josh and I met up with Natalia and Riggins to play in the park. See video below of Josh going down the slide. Josh really enjoyed getting to play outside again! Then I took him out door knocking for my cousin's re-election campaign.
Josh is back in daycare today, so now I need to figure out what we will eat and do for the next few days. Today is about the halfway point to Julian returning, so wish us luck!
Josh has always been very interested in utensils, but now he is really starting to learn how to use them. He has gotten pretty good at forking his food, although sometimes he has trouble getting it to stay on the fork. I recently have decided to let him try using a spoon. This is a very messy process, but it is cute to see him working hard and learning how to use it! Here are some cute photos from breakfast...mmm yogurt.
Shockingly, Julian declined a hug from this little guy :-)
I was cleaning yogurt off his ears, hair and face all day...
